Sept 11th 2009, Friday
September 10th 2009 marks the darkest date in this year’s holy month of Ramadhan. I had lost a friend. This morning, I got up at precisely 4.30 am which is a half an hour earlier than I usually do for ‘sahur’. I started checking things on my cell phone as it has always been the first thing I do when I got up from bed. There was a text message from my tuition’s tutor. A text that had conveyed a horrifying unexpected news informing the death of a friend. At the moment, I was in a full confusion. I read the text over and over making sure that it was not a mistake and for that I could not laid my eyes back to rest thinking about the unexplainable truth behind the news. I thought that the tutor was pulling out a dumb joke. But what was I thinking? People would not make jokes about another person’s life. A few seconds past, I’ve received another text message from my best friend checking me on the news. Soon, there was a call from her, a call that had spoken the whole truth. It turns out that the text I’ve received earlier was not a joke. She explains that he, the friend, had met with an accident on his way to his hometown. Both he and his sister did not make it. The cause of the death was unknown but it might be possible that it was caused by their big brother’s reckless driving. The big brother however, did not succumbed any serious injuries. But that just from what I heard. The real truth? No one can really tell at this moment. The whole feeling I had in me was unbearable after hearing the whole thing. I was in shocked and full of devastation. Everything was far from what I expected it to be. I have tried checking back on the text, but the truth stays where it lies. After that, I rushed to my big sister’s room trying to content my satisfaction on the news. After all, my friend’s sister who was as well involved in the horrific accident is my sister’s closed friend (confused? I am). I knocked on the door, waiting for an answer and there she was unlocking her bedroom door. As I gazed at her complexion where she wears her swollen eyes, I was certain that there was no lie in the news. Everything about it was an impeccable fact. Still, I did not change my mind about asking her and as expected, the fact did not change. I stepped out and she locked her bedroom door back afterwards. As I pulled out the cushion chair and took a sit, I gazed at every angle in my house, thinking, recalling everything about them especially him. The first time I entered the tuition place, he was the first guy who friendly greeted me and made it fun to be there instead of feeling like an alien. He was the clown who pulled off stupid jokes that had kept everyone laughing even though he was scolded by the tutor every now and then. He always treats me and my friends for snacks at a nearby pharmacy and he who never really pulled out a long face. Everything promptly just flashed into my mind. He was then the nicest thing ever and I’ve never got the chance to apologize to him for all of my wrongdoings. He is gone now and forever. No more class clown and no more pulling out stupid jokes. The thoughts stopped there. Soon after that, my mom was awake and I sadly conveyed the news to her. She was for sure, in shocked I mean, everyone does. It was already 5 am at the time and she was waking both of my sister’s up for ‘sahur’. At the eating table, I can see that my big sister’s still in grief and to my surprised, my mom broke down in tears too. Frankly, I’ve never seen my big sister crying before for I’ve known her as the one who has never been that sensible. But then, I got the point, it was a very good friend’s death and I can’t blame her for crying. Well, that was something to start the day with even though it was not a very cheerful start. For now, I know that crying is a waste and mourning over it will make it harder for him out there. I don’t really know what to expect soon. What’s going to happened next is all for Allah to decide. Today, I’ve lost a friend but no one knows what tomorrows may come. AL-FATIHAH to my dearest friends, Nur Izzati and Abdul Muizz, may both of you be blessed and at peace.