Saturday, December 12, 2009


Ohh, get this, I just read something pretty much very fascinating to me. It's like I can relate to this guy and everything he ever wrote, posted on his blog. I mean, there's some kind of connection there, like I can bare my mind thinking about the same thing he did or even experienced. But as usual, the good things that passes you by always have that little something or should I say 'barrier' stopping you from, well, I don't really know which word to use, contenting your satisfaction? I just, I want to do something, I want to keep update to his writings but hell, its hard when I'm to scared to do that. Something is stopping me or is it me I'm doing that to myself? maybe its me being pessimistic. I don't know. Eventually, I just went through this whole paranoia state that I've been enduring these past weeks. Alhamdulillah, I got through that. I'm not saying that is was easy, but I'm so glad that I got through all those agonizing situation. Enough of that, I hate to recall every part if it. So anyway, is he the only guy I know (don't actually know him, know him but yeah) that I can actually relate to? I mean, he's the first and ouh, just don't get the wrong idea here, I'm not crushing on him. Hell no. I don't even know him. Well, know him, know him. (urgh! i gotta stop crapping) Never mind that. Maybe I'm just seeking for a person who I could actually relate to, all this while. I've never even thought of that but I think I do now. Good Night people.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


Hey, its been a while since I last post just about anything here. So okay, my days had been going on just fine, Alhamdulillah. I did'nt get out of the house since forever and that keeps me out of any sort of trouble and I'm gratefully glad of it. So yeah, yesterday, I did something fun, I baked! yeay! Well, it's pretty much something I enjoy doing, I mean, its part of cooking too which I love so much. Actually, I'm not that good at cooking but a friend had once told me, "cooking is always about trying". So yeah, I've tried mixing up things in my cooking before, and luckily for me, it did'nt sucks that much (that's what my tastebuds told me) as far as i concern. Alright, back to the baking story. Yesterday, I've made my first attempt on cupcakes baking. It was hell of a fun for me as I always wanted to try baking cupcakes before. Apparently, 'youtube' has been a great help for me in this whole cupcakes thing. I can't really emphasized on much detail here because, well, maybe there's just a little something-something that I can't share. I'd love to, but sadly, I can't. Anyway, I woke up very early yesterday, at 6 something i guess. I bathe, and went online while waiting for a friend whom I need to borrow a very helpful oven from. Then, as the day starts to brighten up and while the sun brightly shines, she arrives at around 10 am. We unload some stuffs from her car and head straight to my kitchen. I sort things out first then went to take a brief rest while waiting for 'zuhur'. Soon, I prayed and went back to the kitchen to start baking. I followed every each of the procedures stated and started mixing up the ingredients and while that happens, I've forgotten one thing, to buy the vital ingredients for the cupcakes, the eggs. So then, I ended up running to the groceries store in front of my house to get the eggs. Clumsy huh? that's what I thought. Back to the story, after mixing some dry and wet ingredients using a mixer, I scooped out the mixture and place it into the cups. Soon, I placed the 3/4 mixture filled-cups into the preheated oven and wait for it to bake. When it was fully baked, I took it out of the oven and started decorating (the fun part of all). Using two packed of ready made, 'Betty Crocker Kitchen's Vanilla Icing' mixed with drops of colorings,  the cupcakes soon turns into vibrant colors. I also decorated it with some chocolate chips, m&ms and  some decorating stuffs. It was well, a memorable experience for me though, my first try out on cupcakes. I will surely looking foward to bake some more in the future. Perhaps with some friends. That's it, byebye :)



Saturday, December 5, 2009


Hey, once again, I'm being an early bird today. Yeay! Anyway, I'm just feeling like posting something up as I'm in a quite jumpy mood at the moment. Okay, let me start off with something. A few couple of days ago, my mom asked me and my other siblings to go this one wedding (a friend of her's for sure) and of course, we all went there. I did'nt really mind going as I don't have anything much to do at home after the big exam passed (well, apart from the fact that I actually love wedding, so yeah, I don't mind). At first, we went to pick up my big sister at her school (SPM thing going on) and head straight to our destination. On our way there, we had trouble finding the right house as my mom forgot to bring the wedding card (consisting the map of the house) and so my mom called her friend (not the one who's getting married of course. It'd be embarrassing). Then, after a few turns to some unfamiliar street and with the help of a very helpful navigator, we found the right house. I must admit, I can't really put the blame on my mom though, the streets were quite complecated. So as the story goes, we did what the typical Malay people do, on a typical Malay people's wedding. We had a plate of 'nasi minyak' and a glass of syrup or tea for each of us. Afterward, we went inside the house to meet with the bride and here's the best-surprising-unexpected part. Apparently, the one who got married turns out to be my science teacher when I was in form 2 (we called her teacher Amani) and she was the best science teacher I've ever had so far. Well, she teaches me for just a couple of months (she was a practical teacher) and she graduates, then transfers to my mom's school (I had no idea at all). I've never seen her after that. For sure, both of us were surprised and in shocked of the unexpected coincidence (my mom too of course). We did'nt talk much though, it was too awkward for me to start off a conversation with her on the exact moment. She did asked me about my PMR, and I told her it was hard (it was, really), she smiled and that's the end of our not-so-formal conversation. At last, my mom, me and my other siblings shake hands with her and we took off. It was, well, actually a little something for me as I've never expected things like this to just happen. I told my mom everything about her and it was a great thing to witness this sort of coincidence myself.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Rise and Shine

Good morning! Ohh woaw, I'm so glad to could have finally say that after a few months of snoozing and waking up late which did'nt give me the opportunities to unveil that greeting word. Well, that's pretty much an achievement for me as I had successfully prevent myself from snoozing till noon. Its already 8.22 am (i woke up much earlier than that) and I'm stuck with nothing to do, great. Maybe I should just prepare some sort of plans to organize my un-active activities for the rest of the day. Alright, first, get a shower! (sure), second, I'm thinking about going to the saloon (its been a while though since my last visit) third, I'm thinking about going to my mother's friend, teacher Amani's wedding (which turns out to be my science teacher who transfers to my mother's school and yes, my mother's is a school teacher) huh, small world ain't it? So anyway, the forth thing would be.. well I have'nt actually thought of anything in particular just yet but whatever, screw it. I was just planning anyway and trust me, things that I've planned never really works well. Ironicly, there's always unevitable flaws to that very plan *sigh.

A little Something Something

Umm well, its already Friday on the 4th of December and once again, I could'nt sleep. Woaw, that's pretty tough for me as I'll be suffering from sleep deprivation sooner or later if these things keep on going. That's alright. I have tons in mind to eventually express here. A lot to share, a lot to let go. How is it possible to find an easy solutions to all these? Is it soothing music? or or, movies? (nope, you're not going to solve that by watching anything alone) perhaps, just bare everything in your mind, what's in your head should just..break free? Contemplates. A word, an unseen form of action that happens to progress in our everyday life. without us knowing it. or even aware to the presents of it. tricky huh. For some reasons, it did'nt actually happens to all of us. Certain people, sure. I mean, those who place lots of things in mind. concealed things. Apparently, not 100% humans can bare with too many thoughts in mind. They ignored some part of it. or maybe, the entire part of it. Well, obviously, none of these things I'm talking about has that scientific thing proven. Its somehow, based on my own personal observation. I see lots of things. I put a thought or two into it, watching, observing people's action or habits. I don't really see myself as a weird-psycho-freak who observes people for nothing. I did it for the sake of my own curiosity for all i know is, everyone is pretty much different and that differences must have been something, well logical, something interesting to know. So that's just some purpose of doing it. I do things normal people do, but sometimes, maybe sometimes i do it differently. I think differently, I sometimes gives a different reaction to a person which is actually the other way around from what's inside of me, my personal thoughts that I kept to myself. I know these whole thing is rubbish and all boring for some people to laid eyes on or even interprets. But like I say, writing is part of me. So if you should be bored at these, I'm the one to blame and I would'nt mind an inch as I enjoy myself at all these. expressing things in words, writing.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Well Hey. For some reasons, I had just discovered the fact that I actually love writing. Its the only way I could express everything. I'm too terrible at communicating, speaking with people I don't really, well, close with (makes me feel too awkward) and I don't actually share things with anyone. Secretive things that are too complecated to share. I mean, first and foremost, if i do share things then I have to explain to that very person (which well the second thing I'm too terrible at) the kind of situation I am in. Second, if i do explain it to them, I'll get somekind kind of reaction that I was'nt expecting and soon, when I try to explain it again and again, things get screwed up and everyone gets the wrong idea. So, that pretty much proves to me, and all, that things like that should just stay in words. Well, I don't ever see anything wrong with that, aite? I'd write when I'm in the saddest state that I could possibly be and I'd  write when I'm all high and happy. So all I can say here is, writing is somehow, part of me. Part of what I like to do, part of who I'm truly is deep down inside. I might not going to be impeccable with words, well I'm using the simplest form of it so it wont get all crappy and hopefully, it'll be understandable. So yeah, writing to me equals to speaking or communicating which I'd fully prefer it that way. Just look at it from the bright side, I can actually avoid eye-contacts with people and being in the most awkward situation ever! that's suicide! (well, it is to me). It is obviously, obvious that I'm experiencing the low-self-esteem-syndrome (something I hate). It took all my confidence away as you all can see. I can't speak in public, looking people deep in the eyes, response to them well and umm, I can't racked my brain for anything much right now but I can assure you that there's a thousands reasons for it. Apparently, when your brains are progressing and your fingers are moving through words you can't express, you'll be bless with your ability to actually write. At least, that's pretty much what I've experienced myself. I mean, I don't actually trust a person for things to share, but I will, and always, trust myself on writing.