Inspiration

Well, I'm painting words today in order to improve something I long lost. It may sounds inevitably vague, but i can't really interpret the gist of what am i trying to convey here. Just hopefully, you guys get the main point of what I'm about to tell. For every single day, i stand in front of the mirror, contemplated on things that somehow had made me strayed from the real life I'm living in. For some reasons, i could easily get caught up in my own reveries, a futile one. I have somehow tried not to infuse those reveries of mine with something that is too impossible to achieve, but how is that possible when I'm just a human? those thoughts would just lapped me in an instant even when I'm not placing my thoughts onto it. Sometimes, i just want myself to sink into my woody bedroom floor and never to resurface, because having yourself stuck in such excruciating situation with no one there to listen is somehow it is like engaging yourself to suicide. I hate it when racking my brain turns out to be in vain, that added up to my despair. I want something fresh to restart my life with, an inspiration or maybe having the presence of someone new. Someone that could change my life forever. The one who could be there whenever i need them, the one i could confide in, the one who could understand my state of mind and the one who will never leave my side no matter what may come. But that very someone, does not really give me a convincing hope of their existence. I know these, all of these may sound absurd but if u could give some space for your mind to think, it wont be as stupid as it may sounds now and please, think in more than a direction it will be much different. Thanks, for having a glance at these. Appreciate every word you read.