Hookayy, this is great. I miss expressing my emotional distressed. So, here we go.., hello :)
As always, there has been something pushing me, well inspires me to type. Back then, not too long ago, there was this one time where I had thought of typing and expressing something I've long kept in mind but something came up, and I've lost the interest to continue with that unfulfilled intention. So right now, I'm pretty glad that I have everything quite in place this time. Yeah..
I'm not sure for how much does this thing has to bother me, but it does and at times, it gave me this sense of realisation that I don't really have to do so. Simply because its worthless. In a way. Well, picture this, you've paid just too much of your precious efforts and time for the sake of contenting your inner self urge (if that's what you think it is) the thing you don't know is that you're putting yourself at this one point where the things that you do aren't specially done for your own goodness sake. Like, you "think" that you want to lose weight. You imagined yourself looking extra gorgeous, carrying less pounds within your body, and good news, you actually worked for it. But then the result isn't always what you pictured it'd be. You stopped, and you give up. But the actual truth behind the unappreciated efforts there is because someone told you to do so. They convinced you that you'd look better, but what do they know? You're miserable going after for that goal, because it was not for you, that you're doing it. It was because someone told you to. Someone who doesn't even care to accept you for who your are inside, they're ashamed to get closed to you, because of that unconcealed flaws of yours. It's vividly pointing out. Everything always falls to the demanding superficial. You see, that's when the word VAIN came into the picture. Why would you rather do things that would not benefit you in any which way you could ever imagined? At the end of the story, its not happiness that you would achieve, because you're not making yourself happy. Yes, its true, that a person could motivate you to change but is it the right person you get motivations from? Is it even the right motivations? Things like this kept on circling my inner thoughts. Even if the situations are not the same, the consequences are. I'm gonna put a halt to this topic now, Good night.